..be transformed by the renewing of your mind

Although there are consequences for our sins, but we need to remember that God has already provided the redemption for us through Christ Jesus. (see Dear Diary part 1). All we need to do is to confess our sins, REPENT of it, and to get ourselves back on our feet again. The door is already wide open for us to walk away from our sin, it is only whether we  want to or not. To leave your life of sin.

The weaker I see myself, the more I see that I need to rely on God, not my own strength. There is nothing in me that I can totally trust in. (If I believe that I have the ability to stand firm, it will show one day that I can’t.) I just need to rely and depend on God everytime and everyday to give me the strength to withstand temptation, and resist sin. That is something I need to work on. Instead of relying on my own strength everytime.

The sinfulness of man can be pretty scary and ugly if you think about it. But before I talk about others, I need to see it in myself. I just need to grow. I need to cut away the weeds that are pulling me back.

There is almost always a burning need in me to learn more and to grow. It is just something indescribable. I think it is because that Christ has made me alive in Him. And living things grow, dead things stop growing. Sometimes I feel like I’m not learning enough and I just keep on thinking how I can go about it. It’s something that I’m experiencing more and more.

Sometimes, certain things just make me feel very sick, like infidelity,( unfaithfulness to one’s spouse). I feel that I can also be capable of doing that, the more I hear from people around me. My very good friend who is married, another outside but rather close friend, some other friends, my friends from other walks of life,the  media. It is so downright common. But when you sit down quietly and think about it, you may well find it rather disgusting and sick in the stomach. Like thinking about worms in a bucket, or yucky stuff.

Why is it ppl always think that the grass is greener on the other side? Why don’t pp stay content? Why are so many marriages /relationships not cherished? And so, what’s the point of being together in the first place? For a joke?? Just because you need company? You must be kidding right.

Whatever they see in the ” other guy ” or girl  it is not really a big deal. The root of the problem is found in our inner self. We live in a world of sin, thanks to our first ancestors Adam and Eve. We need to be free from delusions and illusions. We need to catch the truth before we start believing in a lie. The truth here is that we don’t really need the “other guy or girl” as much as we think we do. We need to solve the problem within ourselves first.

I’m just so sick of these kind of things around me. I believe that certain thoughts are like toxins. Once you dwell on it, the whole mindset is polluted. Just like eating the wrong food can make our stomach sick.

I want to see more ppl happy in their relationships and marriages. I need some positivity in this world of shambles and broken dreams. It is still a beautiful world.

Hi there,

        after stopping the Internet cravings for >1 week, I have find that there is actually so much waiting for me to accomplish, to discover, to learn and to do. Sometimes, life is really beautiful when it is the simplest.

      After doing some reflections, I realise that the most important thing to me now is to continue to stand firm in the Lord and to live a life that is meaningful and pleasing to Him—certainly can’t do it on my own strength, must rely on Him.

 The process of growth is never smooth. Sometimes one may fall, one may make a mistake that will bring regrets, or sometimes one may commit a sin that brings grief and sorrow (Godly sorrow over commited sin not worldly sorrow). But I find this verse really helpful:

1 John 1:9–

9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

and this verse-

From Isaiah 1:18-

Come now, let us reason together,”
       says the LORD.
       “Though your sins are like scarlet,
       they shall be as white as snow;
       though they are red as crimson,
       they shall be like wool.

and this verse that talks about what Christ has done for us:-

Isaiah 53:5-

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
       he was crushed for our iniquities;
       the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
       and by his wounds we are healed.

1 Corinthians 15:22– 

For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.

Colossians 2:13- 15

13When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature,^[b] God made you^[c] alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. 15And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.^[d]

2 Corinthians 5:17 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

 And not only did Christ died for us, he resurrected too! (Historical fact that a Jesus of Nazareth resurrected after being buried for 3 days and was seen by many. From non-christian historians.)

 Philippians 3:

10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Pressing on Toward the Goal

 12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

 15All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

And I find this website quite helpful. http://www.legg.uklinux.net/after_sinning.html

So don’t just flop and settle back into your old ways once you have admitted sin and trusted Christ afresh for forgiveness, and maybe even felt something o God’s love and forgiveness: think ”How did I fall?” ”What do I need to do so that it will not happen again?” And then change your patterns of living, speaking, thinking as appropriate.

        What a sweet and pleasant surprise that my piano teacher Xu lao shi called up a few days ago and said she will come and visit us at my house today @ 1.30 pm. My sister took the call and Xu lao shi explained that she just came back from Australia and she has lost our contact number and found it recently.

       I was so glad that she’s still healthy and alive after 10 years since I last saw her. She said that it would most likely be the last time we would be seeing her as she is really old now (78years) and would be going to Australia forever after that. So it’s like our last time seeing her.

      So after Church today, although I couldn’t stay back for the Church’s spring cleaning, hehe, because I really need to rush back home. I went to Tampines to fix my spectacle legs first (for free) which had broke earlier on, then I went to Life book shop in Tampines Mall to get a Thank You card with the verse from James 1:17. And also got an A+ Teacher’s wall plague for her. Too bad they didn’t have wrappers there, so I had to go to Precious Moments to get one. Took a cab home, was late at 2.15 pm. haha usual me.

           The first thing she said was, ” Wow, you have grown so tall!” Haha, which is quite funny. Then after that, we talked and chatted, and we played the piano for her to comment. She said for me that it is not bad because the Christian Hymns that I’m playing is not easy as there are many chords. Haha, I know she’s consoling me lar. Then I played the Bach’s overture, and she said I need to slow down, play part by part in bars of 8, and follow more of the crescendoes and mf,p, f, to bring out the piece of music more. All these are so familiar, seems like a time machine brings me back when I was in Primary school, when she would always point these out to me. It puzzled me just now when she said she has let me down last time when she should have asked me to go for Grade 5 instead of grade 3 when I was in Primary 5.  She said I was the first one to go for the Grade 3 test among her batch of students then. Haha, of course I told her it’s ok. But I did get my Grade 5 later on from another teacher, but stopped after that.

       She said that for me now, it’s better to play for the sake of leisure, as what’s the point of giving $180 to take a Grade 7 test, but only learning 3 exam pieces. She said I should explore different styles of music pieces now, and to practice more before I get married and have children as I wouldn’t have time for these next time.

         We also have a common topic now—– about Church and pastors. She is also a Christian, the only one in her family. She got baptised at the age of 30. Her granddaughter is a pianist called Pan Yi An, who have won numerous accolades and is now going to England to get a Master in Piano. She has also played for our President Nathan, ( Young Performers 2007). Xu lao shi’s daughter is a cello player in SOS and her son-in-law plays the oboe in SOS too.

          I have only been to her condominium house once, and I remember there was a gigantic grand piano in the living room. My father was telling her that he regretted buying our Strauss piano as the keys are relatively harder, and he asked about the price of a grand piano. He thought it was $20,000. Haha, but Xu lao shi said it is a Stanley piano, the best kind, and it cost $150,000. LOL. I was rather stunned for a while.

        I’m so happy to see her, we took quite some photos, and we showered her with gifts and durians (which I only ate one piece, not very keen.)

      The picture above is Xu lao shi leaning on our piano. I don’t really like the white cloth thingy. That’s why I took only half of it. I rather the whole piano be uncovered, which will look more natural. She is from Shanghai, a really graceful and inspiring piano teacher.

        I will miss her. 

After starting this blog and being a frequent user of the Internet, I’ve reflected on how my life has become different because of it. There are definitely many good things that the Internet as a tool is capable of achieving. The list of which is not exhaustive includes searching for old friends, an infinite source of information, news and many more. There are also many good points of Instant Messaging, aka MSN, like building bonds with friends and chatting with friends that we seldom rub shoulders with.

Despite the many positive things that these has brought in to my life and how I’m amazed at the wonder of it, it can also become a stumbling stone if one becomes addicted to it. An addiction to me personally is something that you constantly think of, or something that would be the first thing you would want to do when you wake up or when you reach home. An addiction also pulls you away from other things that you should be doing. An addiction can never bring any good out of something even if the thing in itself is excellent.

After Church today, the message of “a life transformed” burned in my brain. It is the process of changing the old you, the old values, the old mindset, the old views of looking at things. It is also to abandon patterns of thinking or way of life which will pull you down from your growth.  It is also something that I’m striving after, hence the name of my blog. But I still think that I cannot live up to the name of my blog yet at this moment in time, though I’ve changed a lot for the better since the past, but I need to continue growing.

I’ve realised that in a week, I spend around 14 to 21 hours online. More than which I’ve promised myself at first.  And it can become at least 5110 hours in a year if I continue this way. Talking about using time wisely, I need to put a stop to this. I need to move on. I need to do other constructive things rather than having entertainment, fun, pleasure online. You may think that I’m being harsh on myself, but yes, if I do not be harsh on myself now, life will be harsh to me later on, when I regret not doing or achieving things that I should.

So here it ends. Perfectly, just when my annual leave ends, when I’ll be thrown into the hectic work schedule again. When I’ll be needing more rest, more time to read up on things I should learn on, more time caring about my family, and doing things I should. Instead of loggin online the first thing I do when I get home.

I will definitely miss my friends on the MSN, and just having the leisure of surfing for my favorite songs or videos online. But just as I have saved myself loads of time after quitting friendster, I need to quit the Internet for sometime too. Until I can prove to myself that I have done the things that I’m supposed to do, things that I’ve achieved, that I can control the impulse to log on, then will I come back.

To end this up, I’ll now end with some bible verses. From Ephesians 5:

Ephesians 5:8-18

8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
   ”Wake up, O sleeper,
      rise from the dead,
   and Christ will shine on you.”

 15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.

————————————————————-Adios, my beloved friends… and see you again.

hee.

This afternoon, my father asked if I wanted to watch the “881 ” Singapore produced movie with him. I just said it’s yucky and very not my generation type of movie.

Then from his eyes, I can tell that he’s longing to watch it, as it’s been years since his last movie.

Then I whipped out $50 dollars and ask him to bring my mom to watch it together.

Suddenly, he was really happy, beaming widely, somewhat like wanted to hug me, and said, ” You are so cute! You are the cutest child I have.” I just tried to walk away. haha. To make him stop it, I told him ,”Because God told me to be nice to my parents.” Then he turned away. haha. But it’s true.

My mum was quite happy too. It’s been quite some time that they have gone for some romantic time together.

They were excited. And they are watching a 5.30pm show, but my father wanted to leave the house at 4 pm,which i find quite amusing.

But hor, I gave them the money, and expected them to buy snacks and drinks to watch the movie. But in the end, I was stunned when my mother told me they brought peanuts from home to bring to the theater to eat.

Thrifty parents I’ve got.

I’ll scrimp on small things like food, toiletries or other non-important things and splurge on things like these.

I’m glad I didn’t watch the 881 show. lol.

But I’m happy that my parents are truly happy for a day.

Hope that they can enjoy their lives and believe in God one day. Before disaster hits.

Pray for my parents ya (If you are a brother or a sister in Christ.):)