..be transformed by the renewing of your mind

Ha….

Today was called to go home at work after I’ve been there for around 1.5 hrs, to do night shift instead. I was quite stunned when my “manager” told me to go home while I was just starting work. At first, I can’t believe my ears…

But it’s because my colleague need to take an urgent leave so I have to cover her night shift for her. And anyways, on weekends, there’s extra $$ to do night shift. So it’s okay. Only that I’ll be pretty tired after work tomorrow to go to church.

Today is pay day! Gotten my bonus together. I’ve never had this much money ever in my life. But the thing is, my happiness level is still the same as before. Like what my pastor said, when u have $2000, you will want $3000. And when you have $3000, you will want to have $4000. If you have $10000, you think you will be glad and satisfied right? But no, you would want $20000. It’s really true. Money will not increase your happiness, it can, but only momentary. Too much money, and you will also worry about where to spend it on. On both sides of the extremes, I hope I’ll have a middle ground.

okay enough. I can be bored by myself.

And so, today is one of the very rare days, when I stepped out of my workplace in really beautiful sunshine. (9am) Missed the days when I wasn’t working and when I was cycling to the fish farms or at the beach….Missed the early morning sunshine for quite sometime. Gotta get a tan soon during my leave.

And yeah, today there are 3 newcomers at my work place! 3 newbies,  I find them so adorable. hee. Me and my batch of colleagues now only 3 of us from the original 4, are no longer the youngest nor the greenest there already!hahah.  They pretty much have to endure what we’ve gone through for the first three months. Just one year ago, I just like them totally lost and clueless! Can you believe that!

(erm, did I say that I won’t be talking too much on my worklife? well, I won’t be saying what I’m doing and in detail, just a bit will do.)

So.. after leaving the workplace, I was keen on shopping around, because I would not be able to sleep if I were to go home so early. But all the shops are not yet open. Sian. But anyways, I did have my Bible with me and a bible-study book as I was planning to head somewhere for bible-study today after work. So I headed to a rather deserted Mac to do my quiet time.

I’m reading this book called “Loving God With All Your Mind” by Elizabeth George. got it last year. For Bible reading plan, I was reading Judges Chapter 4-7 and Acts 26-28.

In Judges Chapter 4 I read about Deboroh, Barak, Sisera and Jael. Jael is the wife of Heber and she is the one who drove a peg into Sisera’s temple( side of head) and killed him.

I see the Israelites forsaking God again and again while being oppressed by their enemies, God again and again delivered them. But they forsake God again after that..

God is faithful and He is in control of all situations, whether good or bad, He knows and is in control.

Then in Judges 6, Gideon was raised by God to deliver the Israelites yet again, after the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord. And for 7 years He gave them into the hands of the Midianites. And Gideon wasn’t confident that he can save Israel out of Midian’s hands, and the Lord kept assuring him that He will be with Gideon. But Gideon asked for God to give him a sign. (see below..)

17 Gideon replied, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. 18 Please do not go away until I come back and bring my offering and set it before you.”
      And the LORD said, “I will wait until you return.”

 19 Gideon went in, prepared a young goat, and from an ephah ^[a] of flour he made bread without yeast. Putting the meat in a basket and its broth in a pot, he brought them out and offered them to him under the oak.

 20 The angel of God said to him, “Take the meat and the unleavened bread, place them on this rock, and pour out the broth.” And Gideon did so. 21 With the tip of the staff that was in his hand, the angel of the LORD touched the meat and the unleavened bread. Fire flared from the rock, consuming the meat and the bread. And the angel of the LORD disappeared. 22 When Gideon realized that it was the angel of the LORD, he exclaimed, “Ah, Sovereign LORD! I have seen the angel of the LORD face to face!”

 23 But the LORD said to him, “Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.”

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Then again he asked for signs again.Judges 6:

36 Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised- 37 look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” 38 And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.

 39 Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece. This time make the fleece dry and the ground covered with dew.” 40 That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.

Sometimes I think I’m like Gideon. When God asked me to do something, or when I’m not sure of something, I asked God for a sign. And when the signs have occurred, I still don’t believe that it is His will….

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In Acts, things get rather adventurous for Paul who answered before King Agrippa and set sail for Rome and a ship wreck occurred.

I learned that God sees us through our circumstances, even though it may at first seem bad, but in the end it achieves something good.

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I managed to write out all my feelings and confusion of an important decision to God. Then as I read Psalm 139, I am comforted.

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

 1 O LORD, you have searched me
       and you know me.

 2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
       you perceive my thoughts from afar.

 3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
       you are familiar with all my ways.

 4 Before a word is on my tongue
       you know it completely, O LORD.

 5 You hem me in—behind and before;
       you have laid your hand upon me.

 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
       too lofty for me to attain.

 7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
       Where can I flee from your presence?

 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
       if I make my bed in the depths, ^[a] you are there.

 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
       if I settle on the far side of the sea,

 10 even there your hand will guide me,
       your right hand will hold me fast.

 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
       and the light become night around me,”

 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
       the night will shine like the day,
       for darkness is as light to you.

 13 For you created my inmost being;
       you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well.

 15 My frame was not hidden from you
       when I was made in the secret place.
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

 16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
       All the days ordained for me
       were written in your book
       before one of them came to be.

 17 How precious to ^[b] me are your thoughts, O God!
       How vast is the sum of them!

 18 Were I to count them,
       they would outnumber the grains of sand.
       When I awake,
       I am still with you.

 19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
       Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

 20 They speak of you with evil intent;
       your adversaries misuse your name.

 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
       and abhor those who rise up against you?

 22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
       I count them my enemies.

 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
       test me and know my anxious thoughts.

 24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
       and lead me in the way everlasting.

Footnotes:

1. Psalm 139:8 Hebrew Sheol
2. Psalm 139:17 Or concerning

Then in Romans 11:33-

Doxology

 33Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and^[a] knowledge of God!
      How unsearchable his judgments,
      and his paths beyond tracing out!

2 attributes of God here is knowing everything and his wisdom is infinite. See how they described these 2 attributes.

So the truth is,

God certainly knows how I’m feeling now.

He knows the dilemma I’m in and how perplexed I am.

He knows WHY.

He knows HOW my situation will end in.

He knows WHEN my dilemma will end.

I’m really confused in my current situation.

But I’m I have to accept certain things and His will for me. Even though  I don’t understand how everything pieces up together.

I pray that no matter what the outcome is, I’ll be still growing in faith in Him.

i will have peace.